why we chose a midwife

i always thought i would want the drugs when it came to labor. i was always extremely intimidated by the pain, horror stories, and scenes in movies of screaming, sweaty women. don't ask me what changed my mind, i'm really not sure. i think part of it has to do with all i have learned about health since getting married to a very health-conscious brock. i think another part could be contributed to my continuous learning of what this life is really about, what's important and who i am. i still can't say for sure how, but somehow the entire idea of birth and labor and pregnancy have settled a little differently in my mind.

and because of that, we decided to choose a midwife and at-home birth instead of doctors and hospitals. there are several reasons behind it, which i am happy to share with all of you honestly, bluntly, and basically straight forward. 

warning: this is a tad long. sorry, read it, thank me later.

god made my body for this: i think this is the biggest reason and so it gets to be first. fact: i am a women. shocker, right? god made my body in a way that is specifically equipped for baring children. since the creation of the world, with the exception of the last several decades, women have been delivering their babies naturally. and guess what? they survived. and they did it again. and in a lot of cases, again and again and again. it's pretty possible to experience the pain and the joy of birth. and i want that. it's a part of my role as a women and a daughter of a supreme being. 

i really hate doctors/hospital: here's the sad part: i never really knew how much i hated them. a lot of brock's family that lives here and that we see frequently are older and i feel like we talk about doctors and hospitals and appointments and meds a lot. and usually i sit there and squirm and don't add to the conversation because i have nothing to say. i guess i don't like them more than normal people... i don't like cold, clammy handshakes, not to mention wondering around other parts. i don't really like (and i know this is stereotyping and not all doctors are this way) the demeaning, the know-it-all, the i'm so much better because i'm a doctor doctors. i don't like generalizations because every body, every pregnancy, every birth, every disease, etc., is different. i don't know why doctors can't figure that out after all their experience and studies. and hospitals? ew. i don't like the iv's and tubes that bind me down. i don't like the smell of hospitals. i don't like the coldness temperature and atmosphere wise. i don't even like visiting people in hospitals, i usually sit there not saying anything and letting whoever else is with me do the talking because there just isn't anything happy i can think of while sitting in that room. i could go on, but i think this will suffice.

obamacare: i could go on a whole lot of tangents about this, but i will keep it simple. i'm fairly certain obamacare is going to completely dismantle the healthcare system. it probably won't be by the time little holland gets here, but hopefully i will be having babies much longer than that, so i might as well learn to do it without the medical system so when it's not available except the the ridiculously rich folks, i can still have babies and everything will go just fine. judge me. it's ok. 

it's just better this way: having a baby naturally is so much better for baby and mama. like i said, our womanly bodies are made for this. when we mess with the process, sometimes it's harmful. like cracking open an egg while its hatching instead of letting the little guy come out on his own. it doesn't mean that there won't be complications doing it naturally, but mama and baby bodies are better off in the long run. 

i get to decide: what i love about my midwife is that she is super hands-off, not on. she is full of knowledge and explains things really thoroughly and well. but when it comes to decisions, brock and i make the choices. i know my body better than anyone and i'm trusting that maternal instinct to know what's best for the little one inside of me, too. it's my body and my baby and i shouldn't have to be told how to take care of them or what they need. the other thing i love about my midwife is that, when i do need her, or i don't feel like i have enough information to make a good,sound choice, she is hands-on, she is at my beckon-call and she will put me and little holland even before her sleep. bottom-line, it's all about he two of us and not the paycheck.

the comfort of home: at first i was totally turned off about the idea of an at-home birth. the mess, not being able to walk away from it, not be doted on by nurses. it just didn't sound as relaxing. but Brock was actually all for it and so i did my research and decided i was crazy for thinking it wouldn't be as relaxing. look at all this: 

• i can sit/stand/lay in whatever position feel comfortable for me and little holland at any time.
• i can eat, i can drink, i can basically do anything i feel like i need to.
• i can hop [gently] in the bathtub or shower for a little while at any time to loosen up those muscles or just relax a bit. 
• i can walk around if it feels right. 
• if i want a back rub or foot rub, or anything of the sort, possible on the spot service with awesome labor-pain relieving technique.
• i have my own couch, bed or floor for my own comfort, not uncomfortable hospital furniture.
• my hubby and family has the comfortable furniture, too! and brock gets a bed.
• brock will play a huge part in the whole labor process which is pretty important to me since this is our baby.
• my family can be there at any or all of the time. 
• little holland won't have to be whisked away except for some quick cleaning and check-up, then straight back to my arms until i hand baby to my mama or someone so i can sleep.
• with my family there, and my awesome midwife, everything will taken care of from clean up to my laundry and making food, to holding little holland when i need sleep. and they will all enjoy that. 
• it's so much more intimate and personal. and it is ever so important that my family has part in the personal, intimate part of meeting my baby since they live so far away. 

now tell me if that sounds more relaxing and/or better.

all that being said, i don't blame any women who wants the luxury of drugs, hospital attendance, and everything else that comes with the doctors and hospitals. every women should be able to decide how they want to do things, right? right. 

did you see how i told the hubs about the baby?