to be or not to be

two years ago [give or take], i started blogging. it began as a journal of my new life as a wife in arkansas for all the people i left behind in arizona.... mostly my mama. then i tried out food blogging. that got old, so i ventured into other paths, and now i don't even know what kind of category you would put me in. and that bothers me.

i sit here wondering, what do i have to offer? what good can i do anyway? is anyone even reading this outside of the people i actually know [thank you, guys by the way!!]? but mostly i wonder... who the heck am i?

i'm not a food blogger. as much as i love eating, and cooking, and eating, i hate food blogging. i don't follow recipes, i don't like writing recipes either. i'm the kind of chef who uses a little of this and a squirt of that. yeah, i know you all hate me. and i think i spend too much time mentally preparing meals and grocery lists, that when dinner is over, i don't want to think about food anymore. food blogging just isn't for me.

i'm not a mom blogger. when my sister first found out i was pregnant, she asked me are you gonna have a super cute mom blog?? my first thought was omg! yes! the thought that followed immediately after was heeeeck no! i don't want to be just another mom blogger. i don't have anything against you lovely ladies, i will goo and gah over your children, home, and blog for as long as i live, i just don't want to be one.

i'm not a design blogger. even though most of the blogs i read are design blogs [like this one, this one, this one, and this one]. i could look at those all day! but i'm not a designer, in any shape or form of the word, so i won't pretend to be.

i'm not a craft blogger. i craft. just not enough, or well enough to be like boom, look what i did, here's a tutorial. oh whoops, i forgot to take pictures of the process. story of my life. 

soooo.... what then? i don't have a niche. i don't have a specific skill. i don't own a store or shop or anything like that. i don't have one passion. i care too much about a lot of things. i like doing a lot of things. i'm fairly good at a lot of things but not an expert at anything. 

so the next question i ask myself is, what's important to me? what do i think about most? what could i never tire of talking about? what makes me happy?

god. my family. making people happy. food. home projects. health. music. crafts. being with people. art. travel. kids. being self sufficient. gardening. flowers. should I keep going? nah... that's enough to think about. and think, i do. all the time. trying to figure it out.

so i'm asking for a little patience. forgive the infrequency of posts. and expect random ones about new things to pop up as i test out the waters. i have thoughts in my brain. lots of thoughts. lots of directions. i think that may be another problem. i'm a thinker. i think way too much. ask brock. he will testify. many of my thoughts are useless [or just way too early for him. ha!]. i guess we'll all just have to wait and see what happens.