Thursday, January 31, 2013

a happy home: one year without a fight

i thought since this is the very first post on the happenings in my home, i should explain why my home is such a happy one.

basically, brock and i have made it a whole year without a "real fight," {plus our dating months, engagement, and like 2 more months after the anniversary}. don't get me wrong, we've had some disagreements, but i can't call them fights because a] they never last longer than 5 minutes, b] rarely rarely rarely are we both frustrated at the same time, and c] they're just not fights.  so how do we do it? i shall tell you.

1. sometimes, you just have to act like children.
just because we're all adults doesn't mean we have to be mature all the time. it's exhausting! let loose and let go. children are care free and they do silly things. this is really only beneficial if both of you do it, otherwise the "adult" may get annoyed. so when the other one starts acting childish, join in! it relieves a lot of stress and you will eventually be laughing! if you start whining and pouting playfully during an argument, it tends to be hilarious.

2. when you are wrong, admit it.
this is super huge. but i feel like brock and i are pretty good at it. it's the reason our disagreements never last. this works especially well if you make a super obvious frustrated.defeated.obnoxious "you're right" face. the other will then laugh, feel free to gloat, and next thing you know, problem solved.

3. fights are better fought when only one is fighting.
this goes back to us not being mad at the same time. if the other one is laughing, no one gets hurt. on one hand this aggravates me to no end, but on the other hand, it totally lightens the mood {eventually}. brock would honestly have me laugh at him than comfort him if he makes a silly mistake even when he is super duper frustrated. i would rather be comforted, but he usually laughs and then i laugh too. win win.

4. be 100% honest. always. don't keep secrets {but you can keep surprises!}.
keeping secrets means you have something to hide. if you have something to hide, it's probably not good. if you are keeping something from them, you are not being completely honest. it's pretty straight forward. love without trust is a whole lot harder than love with trust. trust me {see what i did there?}. honesty makes those fights so much easier because you have nothing to hide. it makes resolving those fights much more possible because you count on that half of yours.  

5. if there's that one thing that bugs you, find out how it fits with yourself.
i know this seems silly, but give it a go. brock seriously loves to aggravate me. it's like his favorite past time. sometimes i wonder if he just didn't do enough of it to other girls in junior high. the picking and poking and the mocking. rawr! i go insane. i on the other hand am super dramatic. sometimes is totally subconscious, others i'm completely aware that i'm being ridiculously dramatic. brock aggravates because he likes to get a reaction out of me {he has admitted that several times}, and it works out ok because i usually like to be dramatic. it seems silly, but once i figured that out, i didn't mind his agitation so much. i still get dramatic about it, but it's more fun now.

and with that, we are fight free! there may be other factors, but these are the biggest.


  1. Hey, Tasmin! I really like you! Love, Sarah Streeter

    1. Hey pretty face! I really like you back! I miss seeing you!!!

  2. All of these points ring so true with my relationship as well. We also barely ever fight, I think we only ever had one real fight in four years. The rest was mere bickering or serious discussions. And funny enough, my fiance also loves to "pull my ponytails", but I started doing it back at him. And we laugh at our own silliness a lot. So I think this is a great list of tips for people who are new to relationships. I think "Don't take things too serious", just about sums it up.

    1. That is the perfect sum-up! I totally agree! Thanks for you comments. :) I'm glad I am not the only who appreciates being silly!

  3. Tasmin, I enjoyed your fight free method. I think you addressed a lot of issues through the pure point that stubbornness never wins. You also made it clear that trust is what holds a relationship together, and being in a 3 year relationship myself, life is a LOT easier and LESS stressful when you can trust your significant other. I'm the one that always has to have the last word, but maybe I could let it go sometimes. Excellent blog, and layout.

    I think you could add more information under your Bio. :)

    1. Thanks Abby! I have to admit, I used to be one of those last word people... but then Brock started making good points I couldn't help but surrender ;) I guess it's something we all have to learn.