moving to squarespace. come see!

after all my dramatic rants and confused posts about discovering myself and wanting to make changes, the time has finally come! hey holland has been a really great adventure for me, but i am making a big change!

i want to blog about happiness and all things that surround it! and with that comes a whole new blog. i'm ready for a big girl blog and big girl url. so i hope you will stick with me and head on over to my new bright little corner of the world!!! there is a special surprise waiting, too! 

all my previous content can be found there [though, i'm still working on the links, so some may not have transferred yet]. i will still be my good old happy self, i will just be taking things in a new direction, rebranding myself, and pushing my limits as i chase my dream to be a professional blogger!

i do want to give a special thanks to all of you for supporting me and showing me lots of love!!! it makes all this worth it! xo 

head on over to brightlittlecorner.com to see the new place! i hope you love it as much as i do!

mother's day and embroidered canvases

so mother's day was like 10 whole days ago. but i love my mama so so much and so i just want to give her one more shout out and also share with you the gift i made her [so maybe you can do this for someone special, too!].

my mama is probably the best there is. i know i bragged about her on her birthday, but just a few more things to add about wonderful, loving, sweet, beautiful mother:

she used to sing me to sleep every night. i always got to pick the songs. i missed that when i got older, but then i had to share a room with my sister who is 9 years younger than me. mama sang to her, too... lucky me! i wanna be a mama that sings to my babies. 

girls night always meant chick flicks, ruffle's potatoes chips and ranch dip. man, could i ever use a night like that with my mama right now. sometimes the chick flicks were blockbuster rentals, other nights they were old musicals that we would sing along to. but there was always chips and ranch dip. i'm feeling a little nostalgic now. so glad i will have a little girl to have girls' night with. 

mama's hugs are unbeatable. mama's tear-wiping, boy-fighting, it's-gonna-be-ok, pep talks kept me together on a lot of days. mama's strength gave me strength. her determination gave me determination. and her love continues to feed mine every day. what a woman!

and now for a special gift. hand embroidered canvas.

this was a really simple gift to make. so simple, i will not provide a tutorial because i suck at them. but if you are interested in embroidery and have never tried, try it on fabric first, because this was kind of tough pulling the needle through. this is a great tutorial on getting started. and if you want to learn a bajillion stitches, this lady knows her stuff! i'm excited to try some. i'm totally getting back into embroidery after the project because i really love how it turned out. [and she said it made her cry, so there's a bonus!] the outside of the canvas is saved for little grandbaby thumbprints! can't wait to add paislee's when she gets here!

helpful hint: when embroidering on a canvas, keep a balloon handy or a something plastic or rubbery to help grip the needle and pull it through. it really is tough.

little lady has a name

i know in the last update, i told you i wasn't going to share for fear of jinxes, but i think it is time. mainly because the only thing that will change our little lady's name at this point is divine intervention and i'm pretty certain he liked the name, too.

so are you ready to hear it??

i can't hear you!

paislee renae

boom. what do you think? [pst. only tell me if it's good. hehe]

let me tell you how we came up with this. we have been trying since we knew she was a she to find a name. we tried family names after my mama and after brock's, but nothing stuck. brock mostly hemmed and hawed over everything and i like all of it. frustration.

on our little babymoon we took to texas, we had plenty of time in the car to discuss. but we didn't even really discuss a lot. as we listened to the radio, eric pasley's name scrolled across the screen. my mind read paisley. [long a, short a, if you didn't know, paisley is not how you pronounce his name.]

i said it out loud and brock actually liked it. we asked little lady and she kicked me. ok... she was already wiggling, but whatever. it wasn't until the radio announcer came on that i realized i didn't even say his name right. which just goes to show that this little one wants her own name. not a family name, not a country singer's name. she is just pretty unique already.

we called her paislee the whole babymoon and it just felt right. another week passed and we were still calling her paislee. that was a gooooood sign. all other names lasted mere days.

as for renae. well. i really like rae for a middle name. it fit with all the other potentials, but with every one of those names, brock couldn't say rae after anything without sounding like a redneck. sorry. i couldn't have it. so it grew into renae.

and now our little lady is paislee renae holland. doh! i can't wait to meet her.

6 weeks and counting, guys.

april goals recap // may goals

guys. i'm pretty happy with myself. this month of goals went really great and it makes me want to do it again! which is what i hoped for. i didn't want to come out feeling like a loser on the first round. this gives me a little oomf and a great start! so let's review shall we?

always hang up clothes. boom. i thought this was going to be so so hard. but not even one little time did i leave my clothes out. i have been doing it for years, and all it took was a little goal, a little determination, and a little planning [putting the hanger on my bed instead of leaving it in the closet].

keep up the budget. at all costs. i did preeeetty good with this one. there are a couple things i would have liked to have done better, like recording spending more frequently instead of in big chunks, but overall i'm pretty pleased with out well i kept up and didn't miss anything!

take time for baby. i'm still learning tons about this little pip-squeak. reading books, taking our class. i haven't spent as much time in this area as i had hoped, too, but i'm still happy with my progress. brock and i also started painting her dresser! Eek! It is going to be so precious! every day we plan to finish it, though, it's too windy to spray paint.... soon, i hope! next step: paint the room.

start my spring cleaning list. totally started this! and accomplished quite a bit, too! brock actually did part of it, i can't take credit for it. he power washed the house. check. we trimmed our scraggly bushes. check. i cleaned out all the top cupboards in my kitchen. check. and my ocd is very happy. just have to do the bottom now. 

like i said, overall, i'm really happy with myself. still room to improve, but let's be real.... that's an always kind of thing. so now it's time to make a few more goals for the next month while keeping up with the old ones. may, here i come.  

may is either going to stress me out, or be extremely relieving. this is the final full month of the honeymoon life/baby prep. once june rolls around, little lady could show up any day! there is a lot to do! I'm going to attempt to keep things simple for my own sanity, but if you see any bald spots on my head at the end of the month, it's only because I pulled my hair out. no big deal. 

get ready for little lady. ok, i'm going to break this on down into a couple steps. it's by far the biggest thing to do this month, but it will all be great!

     exercise! i walk almost everyday at lunch. just for 10 minutes so i have time to eat, but it really helps keep the afternoon sleepies and swelling down. however, since i will be having a natural birth, walking just isn't enough. i did really good with my pregnancy exercises in the beginning, but haven't been doing as good lately. so in addition to my walking, i'm planning on exercising 3 times each week. 

     finish the nursery. this one may be lofty. we'll see how far we can get. at least, the dresser will be finished and the walls will be painted. she won't be sleeping in there right away, so i do have a little wiggle room. decorating can come when i no longer work starting in june.  

     gather all the list items. back to the home birth part. we have a lot to gather up. our midwife gave us a list of things we will need. most of them have been collected, but i am still lacking a few necessary items. like extra towels [the two of us just don't have that many!], a tarp to go under the tub/pool/thingy, and first little outfit for little lady! hopefully, i can get it all together before the home visit from the midwife in two weeks. 

get the blog in order. may 30th is my official last day as a working woman. before that comes, i would really like to be ready to just delve into being a mama and a blogger. i have been talking about making a lot of changes, and by the time i am home for good, i would like to have a head start on this. that means i will have some happiness posts a-rolling and my new design and fresh look will be ready to launch [and possibly new url??]. everyone keep those fingers crossed. 

there you have it. somehow, 4 seems to be my lucky number. but like i said, i don't want to stress myself out. wish me luck everyone. life is about to fliiiiiip upside down. in a good way, but man! it's all happening so fast! 

a happy kind of direction

as you probably guessed from the last post, i have been doing a lot of thinking. and a lot of pondering. and a lot of soul searching. the bottom line is, i want to make a difference. i want to change lives. it's kind of a big dream to have, but i can't help it.

i realize that doesn't really happen overnight, and it certainly won't be something on a check list to accomplish, but i'm up for the challenge. i want to do something important and meaningful. really, i just want to help people. 

in all my pondering, something has really stuck out to me: i'm just a happy person. and i want to help everyone else be happy, too. only a million times have i participated in the activity where everyone goes around the room and says one good thing about each person. for me there have been different answers, but there are a couple things that have been pretty consistent throughout my life:

you always have a smile

you make people laugh

you're friendly and make people feel loved

you always make me happy

to me, that means the world.  i'm so grateful that people see me that way. because that's who i want to be. also in my pondering i have been trying decide how i can impliment my desires and goals into this blog and actually do something meaningful. and so i have been thinking about the things in my life that make me happy, the things that are most important to me and how i can help other people find happiness through those things, or just on their own! i know i had a rambling list last week, but i've narrowed it down to the things that matter most.

my faith. i am a member of the church of jesus christ of latter day saints, and though i don't plan on talking and blogging specifically about my beliefs, i think it's important for me to include in this list. not because it's important to me, but because it is me. all of the things that make me happy are because of what i believe and how i feel about this life and its purpose. 

marriage. this had to make the list. people probably think brock and i are crazy, lucky, or just downright weird.... but we are just ridiculously happy. i really don't know if i could have "planned" a better marriage thus far. 

motherhood. even though i don't have the experience in this yet, it has always been important to me, it has always been something that i have looked forward to. i always wanted to be as amazing as my mama [still do!]. i know when my little lady gets here, it will become an even bigger part of my happiness.

health. our bodies are truly magnificent things and what an incredible gift we have been given! i'm pretty grateful that i have this body to take care of and i actually do find happiness in knowing i'm doing a pretty good job of that. 

talents. for me, that means creating things. it's what i love to do, but i know that's not the same for everyone. that's great! hopefully, i can encourage you to find happiness in your own. 

lifting others. i guess this goes back to my whole refocus here, but i plan to do much more in this area than just talking about happy things. i guess you will just have to wait and find out with me. 

the little things. we all have hard times, life is tricky and daunting and tough. but those little things make all the difference! sometimes we just need to be reminded to enjoy those things, appreciate them, take advantage of them, and use them! 

and last but not least...

creating happiness. i'm a firm believer that we shouldn't rely on others for our happiness. sometimes we have to make our own. i hope as this vision expands and progresses, i can do just that. create happiness. and help you figure out how to do that, too. 

to be or not to be

two years ago [give or take], i started blogging. it began as a journal of my new life as a wife in arkansas for all the people i left behind in arizona.... mostly my mama. then i tried out food blogging. that got old, so i ventured into other paths, and now i don't even know what kind of category you would put me in. and that bothers me.

i sit here wondering, what do i have to offer? what good can i do anyway? is anyone even reading this outside of the people i actually know [thank you, guys by the way!!]? but mostly i wonder... who the heck am i?

i'm not a food blogger. as much as i love eating, and cooking, and eating, i hate food blogging. i don't follow recipes, i don't like writing recipes either. i'm the kind of chef who uses a little of this and a squirt of that. yeah, i know you all hate me. and i think i spend too much time mentally preparing meals and grocery lists, that when dinner is over, i don't want to think about food anymore. food blogging just isn't for me.

i'm not a mom blogger. when my sister first found out i was pregnant, she asked me are you gonna have a super cute mom blog?? my first thought was omg! yes! the thought that followed immediately after was heeeeck no! i don't want to be just another mom blogger. i don't have anything against you lovely ladies, i will goo and gah over your children, home, and blog for as long as i live, i just don't want to be one.

i'm not a design blogger. even though most of the blogs i read are design blogs [like this one, this one, this one, and this one]. i could look at those all day! but i'm not a designer, in any shape or form of the word, so i won't pretend to be.

i'm not a craft blogger. i craft. just not enough, or well enough to be like boom, look what i did, here's a tutorial. oh whoops, i forgot to take pictures of the process. story of my life. 

soooo.... what then? i don't have a niche. i don't have a specific skill. i don't own a store or shop or anything like that. i don't have one passion. i care too much about a lot of things. i like doing a lot of things. i'm fairly good at a lot of things but not an expert at anything. 

so the next question i ask myself is, what's important to me? what do i think about most? what could i never tire of talking about? what makes me happy?

god. my family. making people happy. food. home projects. health. music. crafts. being with people. art. travel. kids. being self sufficient. gardening. flowers. should I keep going? nah... that's enough to think about. and think, i do. all the time. trying to figure it out.

so i'm asking for a little patience. forgive the infrequency of posts. and expect random ones about new things to pop up as i test out the waters. i have thoughts in my brain. lots of thoughts. lots of directions. i think that may be another problem. i'm a thinker. i think way too much. ask brock. he will testify. many of my thoughts are useless [or just way too early for him. ha!]. i guess we'll all just have to wait and see what happens. 

a little lady update

here we are at 29 weeks. time has flown! but it also feels like i've been pregnant forever!

last sunday was the official first day of my third trimester, and ho! they warned me that's when the hormones would just overtake me... i didn't realize that meant day one. for a couple days, i thought i might die from heat stroke. that coming from the girl who wears socks to bed or sticks her toes on her hubby's legs for warmth. i was also very angry at the stupid target app. i don't want to talk about it....

note to friends and family: i am excruciatingly testy. highly likely to become irritated with minor things. like your voice. or air. you have been warned. 

also, i think these hormones have actually dried out my tear ducts. no crying or emotional relapses of sorrow. i can't even remember the last time i cried... and that's weird. [actually, that's a lie... it was probably the first time i saw frozen.]

in other news, the little lady is as wiggly as they come. and always at 10pm. every night. I guess that's just prepping me for her debut. she doesn't kick intensely, she just rolls and squirms around all the time. either that, or she has taken up dancing because it is literally an all-belly show all day. she's probably gonna be just like mama. can't sit still for longer than 2 whole minutes. hopefully she doesn't inherit my childhood boney butt, too. everyone hated my boney, wiggly butt on their lap. 

brock already loves playing with her. his favorite activity is to poke and prod her and wait for her to punch back. he's usually successful. thanksbabeloveyoutoo.

we've probably been through a million names. shelby. charly. abigail. sadie. mckinna. ebony. emma. i think we have it now! but i'm not going to tell you... yet. i don't wanna jinx it.  

the nursery is still trying to make it's way from my brain to real life, but we have a crib! and i will be painting her dresser in the next week or so. oh, it is going to be lovely! just wait. 

it will only be so long until she is here, then you can all fall in love with her as much i have.